- 6:53 am - Tue, Mar 4, 2014
meanwhile i’m asking the real fuckin questions
Side note: I would absolutely read books about legal practice in a wizard world.
Do wizards ever get super guilt about not helping muggles that are sick or in pain? I mean I know they have some code of separation against it but do they ever come across a muggle baby who is suffocating or has a broken leg or something and ignore it and push down all the feelings and then later they drink their butterbeer in the dark and wonder if hell is a real place
- 2:42 pm - Fri, Feb 28, 2014
russian literature: a summary
ivan ivanovich ivanov is an upper middle class student who is madly in love with maria petrovna petrova! BUT maria petrovna petrova loves dmitri dmitrivich dmitrov who is a nihilist upper middle class student!
ivan ivanovich ivanov goes through a long soul searching journey before realizing all life is petty and meaningless and eventually dying alone and unloved of tuberculosis while dmitri dmitrivich dmitrov marries maria petrovna petrova
Yes but this is exactly why we love it <3
(Source: kylebroflovsky, via phil0kalia)
- 10:54 am
You have to surrender to your mediocrity, and just write. Because it’s hard, really hard, to write even a crappy book. But it’s better to write a book that kind of sucks rather than no book at all, as you wait around to magically become Faulkner. No one is going to write your book for you and you can’t write anybody’s book but your own.
- 7:32 am - Thu, Feb 27, 2014
You shouldn’t do things, because no matter how beautiful and perfect it turns out, somebody on the internet will notice one tiny, totally irrelevant mistake you made and they will shit all over you for it. Then everybody will upvote the shitter for shitting on you, as if to say “yes, shit on them. Shit all over them. Forever. Never stop shitting on them.”
You should probably just eat pudding out of a mixing bowl and die in your sleep instead.
I feel this way a lot.
- 2:30 pm
I’m an official Cracked columnist now.
The frontrunner for my column name is “Unarmed Unicorn Combat.” What do you think, Tumblr?
- 5:50 am - Tue, Feb 18, 2014
Two more Cracked articles
that I didn’t link before because I’ve been away and I went to Boston. The second is a cowrite with Christina H, who is awesome.
5 Ways You Didn’t Realize the English Language is Defective
The 6 Male Characters Women Never Get to See in Movies