Sat through all of the first two seasons, unfortunately.
(and since you’re already mad I will mention that I don’t like Doctor Who, either.)
As much as we want to see Betsy Ross fight werewolves with that sewing needle…
#5. Public Domain Monster Mashups
Examples: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Cowboys & Aliens, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, I, Frankenstein
Here’s a quick formula for a successful movie. Step one: Take a historical figure or a fictional character whose creator died long enough ago for their work to be in the public domain. Step two: Add a randomly selected creature or monster from the urban fantasy shelf in the nearest bookstore. Step three: Make a movie in which these two things either team up or fight each other to the death. Congratulations! You have just printed yourself a lot of money.
Even if I hadn’t written this article, I’d still reblog this just for Cracked's “Betsy Ross: Scars and Stripes” tag.
Yep, he’s my father in law.
TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATORS: THE CASE OF THE LARGE STRAWBERRY
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE
“HAVE YOU TRIED BALANCING ON IT”
“YES OF COURSE I TRIED BALANCING ON IT JENKINS THIS IS NOT MY FIRST DAY AS A TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATOR”
Because of unfortunate implications that we have no control over, a few completely normal statements and opinions can send you sailing directly into the crags of the Land of Douche.
My new column about situations where it’s impossible to not look like a douchebag.
The NSA already has enough information on me, dude.
Even with the infinite range of myths that humanity could invent about outsiders, most of the stuff we’ve come up with has fit into a small number of very specific categories.
New Cracked column today about how everyone’s having more interesting sex than us, apparently.
imagine a video game where you create a hero whose destiny is to save everyone, but throughout the game you start making harder and more questionable decisions, and the game gets darker and darker. and in the end you’re just standing there, clutching the controller and finally realizing you were playing the villain all along
They already made that game! It leads you into to shooting all these American soldiers because you think they’re killing civilians and because the game is evil. Then there’s a bit where you find a shrine the surviving soldiers have made (think the wall shrine in Battlestar Galactica) for the men you killed, and the soldiers have left notes there to their dead friends about how they’re going to get vengeance on you and SPOILER you are the bad guy
I usually have 100% no emotional reaction to video games but jesus. That scene.